There are some common questions during pregnancy that all women encounter again and again. How are you feeling? Can you feel the baby moving yet? Do you have names picked out? Then comes the undesired belly touching as people talk in a high pitch voice while rubbing your swollen midsection.
People automatically begin to speculate if you are having a boy or a girl. Many will ask what gender your first child is and then determine your second baby will be the opposite gender. They will ask if you are finding out and what you hope for. You tell people you just want a “healthy baby,” but may secretly find yourself hoping for a specific gender. I will hold my hands up and say that with Molly, I was hoping for a girl. I’m not saying that if had had a boy I wouldn’t have loved them as much, but I knew deep down I wanted a little girl.
With this pregnancy, we decided to not find out the gender at our 20 week scan. Team Yellow all the way!! Mainly because this will probably be our last baby, and we wanted to experience that surprise at the end. There is something exciting about not knowing, but it hasn’t been easy. People keep asking us what we would prefer, a boy or a girl. With a lot of them saying, ” you have a girl, you must want a little boy”. They couldn’t be more wrong. As much as I would love to be blessed with a little boy, I am more than happy being a mama to girls.
We honestly don’t have a gender preference. If we have a little girl, we have everything that we need from clothing to toys as we kept everything of Molly’s. However if we have a little boy, then we will be blessed and have one of each and I get to do a bit of clothes shopping! I think regardless of the gender, Molly will be the best big sister and we will be completely smitten no matter what. There’s nothing to say that a sister and a brother can’t be just as close as two sisters?
Gender Disappointment is real
I am however fully aware, that some people may feel a sense of disappointment upon hearing the gender of their baby. It is called Gender disappointment and it is REAL. If you are feeling sadness following the announcement of the sex of your baby, you are NOT a bad parent and you are NOT alone. Once that little one stares deep into your eyes for the first time, you won’t be able to imagine your life any other way. If you are experiencing gender disappointment, don’t go through it in silence. Find someone to talk to as it can actually lead to depression. If your depression is severe during pregnancy or after your baby arrives, seek professional guidance. There are many emotions that come with the preparation and arrival of a little one. Whatever you may be feeling, you are not alone.
My friend and fellow Blogger Leah Higgins speaks about her experience with Gender Disappointment and how it effected her – Well worth a read!
Did you have a gender preference? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.
