My Birth Story – Labour and Delivery

I have been wanting to post this for a while now but for some reason it has just sat in my drafts for months.

Grab a cuppa and a snack. It’s going to be a long one!

Our little Rainbow baby. We are so in love! Molly came into this world at 5am Christmas day 2017. She weighed 7lb 2oz and still to this day, every time I look at her I feel like my heart is going to explode.

My birth story.

I prepared right from the start for a natural child birth.

Back when I found out I was pregnant, I knew right away that I wanted to try and have a water birth, and just use gas and air. However, I didn’t want anything set in stone. I was fully aware that I was a first time mum, who had never been in labour and that contractions could start and I’d want all the drugs under the sun! I also knew that anything could happen, and I could end up going for a C-section. Keeping an open mind about it and going with the flow was my birth plan. As long as I had a happy and healthy baby, that’s all that mattered to me.

My pregnancy wasn’t the easiest by far. What with the hyperemesis gravidarum (really bad morning sickness) the bleeds, the pre-term labour scares and the wonderful SPD. I spent a fair amount of my pregnancy in and out of hospital. It was not only physically draining, but also mentally and emotionally challenging and extremely difficult. Sadly, due to previous miscarriages, it was also a pregnancy that was tainted with a fear. A fear that’s like no other. A fear that at any given moment it could all be over. It was a horrible feeling and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

I was beyond lucky in the fact that Liam and was a bloody saint. That man has patience like no other and I honestly don’t know how he managed to put up with my moody emotional ass for 9 months. A friend of mine, Jenny, was a pillar of strength and reassurance, especially during the first trimester and the bad morning sickness. She would message me with words of encouragement and support with every A&E visit, and every sleepless night. I honestly cant thank her enough and I’ll be eternally grateful.

To those mum’s who have a fantastic pregnancy and who love every second of it, I envy you slightly. I didn’t get to “enjoy” mine as much as I would have liked to…but not a day went by where I didn’t feel blessed to finally still be pregnant.

Everyone thought I would deliver early..

The last few month leading up to the birth, I started to get Braxton Hicks contractions and they didn’t hurt at all.  Molly would wriggle like mad after each one. I acquired quite the bump, and everyone was convinced I would deliver early.

But no, the days turned into weeks, then on Thursday the 21st December we had very little to no fetal movement from Molly. We rang the hospital and were asked to go straight in.  We were monitored and she was completely fine. The Doctor who came to see us decided to induce me as I was 38+ weeks pregnant and what with the reduced movement, there was no reason she couldn’t make a slightly earlier appearance.

A date of Saturday 23rd December was given to us and we were told we had to ring the hospital at 7am to see what time they would like me in. Liam and I didn’t freak out as much as I thought we would. We were more excited at the fact we would get to meet our little girl sooner and the wait was almost over.

Time to be induced…

7am on Saturday December 23rd I rang the delivery suit at our local hospital to see when they wanted us in. 7pm that evening we headed in to be induced! We went up to the ward and we were shown to a bay on a 6 bed ward. At 10pm after having some routine checks, I had the first pessary inserted. ( A pessary is a tablet that’s inserted into the vagina to help induce labour. I had the controlled-release pessary which can take up to 24 hours to work! ) I had to stay in hospital so that me and baby could continue to be monitored for that 24 hours.

We went for a walk around the hospital at midnight to see if that would help speed things up. Hospitals at night are damn right freaky – nobody about. It was like the first ever episode of walking dead where Rick walks around a deserted hospital. Just, without the zombies!

The following day, December 24th, Christmas eve, was spent watching TV, more walks and bouncing on my birthing ball. Liam’s parents came to visit and we went to the Costa they have there. We got the lift up but I was determined to walk down the stairs on the way back to the ward. SPD or no SPD, I was doing what I could to get this baby to move.

Later that night, I ate dinner whilst bouncing on my birthing ball, had a nice warm bath whilst watching the latest Zoella Vlogmas (no shame) and tried to relax and wait for 10pm to see if anything had progressed.10pm came and went. 11pm came and I got checked. NO FREAKING CHANGE! Well, I was still at 1cm BUT my cervix had softened enough for the midwife to perform a sweep or in her words * a cervical massage*. A second pessary was inserted and I was sent back to the ward to wait another 24 hours. Well, before I made it back to my bed I had a contraction – Nothing bad, but I got all excited about it. Then. .Nothing.

At around midnight, I was having a few mild contractions, but they weren’t regular in any way. Liam’s cousin came to visit, and Liam went home with her as the midwife said and I quote  ‘this baby wont be here until the 26th, maybe the 27th’.

Oh how she was wrong.

Not long after Liam left, about 12.30, my contractions started to form some regularity. I was using an app on my phone to try and keep track of them. I buzzed and informed a midwife and she hooked me up to a monitor and sure enough, things were on there way! From there things just went full speed ahead. My contractions got worse and more regular very quickly.

At 1am, the Dr came to asses, almost like they didn’t believe I was in labour. He assessed and took the pessary out. He agreed that I was indeed in labour and dilated 3cm. Now, I rang Liam to get him to come back. I couldn’t move to the delivery suit to labour as they were full. Apparently everyone went into labour Christmas eve! My midwife wanted to move me to the birthing centre, so I could labour there and have access to gas and air, however, she was also running the ward and unable to leave the ward to be with me, and unable to leave me on my own at the birthing center.

Liam and his mum arrived at the hospital around 1.45am and at 2am I was moved to the birthing center where I was given gas and air – sweet sweet gas and air! I was checked and I was 4cm dilated. Gas and air affects people in different ways. Some people get sick, some people laugh..I just zoned out. Literally, between contractions, I was not in the room.

What seemed like not very long after being told I was 4cm I suddenly felt the urge to push. I freaked out and remember saying “I’m only 4cm, I cant push, its wrong”. But guess what, you have zero control over your body when it comes to labour. There was no stopping this feeling..and it freaked me out. ( probably a lot more than it would of if I wasn’t high on gas and air). Things from here get a little fuzzy – I remember being told to get in a wheelchair as I was being moved to delivery.

I kinda remember arriving to my room and getting on the bed. Our midwife who delivered Molly was actually called in due to the amount of women going into labour that night. She was amazing. I was sassy as hell. Liam went to hold my hand and I told him to get off..followed very quickly by an apology ( I dont like to be touched when I’m in pain).

I remember feeling like I had been in labour for hours and hours. Being hot, tired, and high as a kite I felt like I had hours to go. An epidural? Not for the pain, but because I wanted to sleep haha! My midwife (bless her heart) said no, and that I wanted to do it naturally – all said whilst doing some crazy dance! She left the room for a second and I didn’t like her answer so I asked for Liam’s aunt. (Liam aunt works at the hospital, and was working that night.) Hoping she would be nice and give me drugs! I was wrong!

The final push!

I suddenly started to need to push again, like really push. My midwife was so casual and calm, just watching me, watching the monitor, watching me. I begged her to check me. Half way through checking me I asked again for an epidural, and then told her to stop as I was having a contraction. She quickly replied with ” oh, oh ok, we are at 10cm!” I knew what that meant, so I started pushing.

I have no idea how long I was pushing for, and I can honestly say I will never be able to describe the feeling. But, when you give birth, once you deliver the head, your supposed to stop, and pant and wait for the next contraction to deliver the rest of baby to try and avoid tearing. My body had other plans. As Molly’s head came out, my waters decided to brake, so she was kinda forced out by my waters. Liam’s aunt and mum were slightly damp because of it. But there she was. My beautiful baby girl. She was placed onto my chest all clean and goo free at 5am Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas!

I was in shock. I couldn’t believe I’d had a baby. It was such a weird, overwhelming feeling. I thought I’d cry, (seeing as I cried like a baby watching One Born ) but I didn’t. I was just, so besotted with this tiny little thing and I was so happy. Liam’s mum was in tears, Liam I think was the same as me – Just, so in love. Liam cut the cord, and had some skin to skin with Molly whilst I got stitched up. 2, 2nd degree tears which were thankfully internal. I got put on a drip to help my uterus contract and had a cup of tea and toast and then we had all of the newborn snuggles whilst trying to comprehend what just actually happened!

Slight Complication..

Liam’s mum went home and we were left to bond as a family of 3. Tried the whole breastfeeding thing as I was so desperate to breastfeed, but Molly wasn’t having any of it. I refused to give up! As we were resting, I had a sensation of peeing. I had a gut feeling I knew what It was. I got Liam to press the buzzer. My midwife came in and she had a look. She looked at me, and then at the emergency bell, then back at me. I said to her ” you’re going to press the alarm aren’t you”, to which she replied ” I’m just going to press the buzzer”.  Liam took Molly and warned him that people were about to rush in, and sure enough, they did.

I had haemorrhaged. A Dr examined me which hurt, a lot and I asked him to stop. He proceeded to inform me I had a large clot and he needed to get it out now. All he needed was 6 seconds. He told me to go at it on the gas and air, so I did. He waited for me to give the go ahead.

Well, having a Dr shove his hand into my uterus, after giving birth and having stitches is quite possibly the most painful thing i have ever experienced. It was worse than giving birth. I screamed, and I cried and I begged him to stop. But it needed to be done. The midwife grabbed my hand and I screamed my head off (probably petrifying any woman waiting to give birth). I was swearing my head off, again followed by constant apologies mixed with more screaming. But less than 10 seconds and it was done. I apologized to the midwife for screaming but she said that If she had that done to her, she would scream too.

After that, things went pretty normally. I got to have lots of skin to skin time with Molly. We facetimed my mum and sisters not long after she was born to tell them I’d had her. We also facetimed my Dad and Stepmum. I had a shower to try and feel clean..but its hard to feel clean when you’re bleeding a crazy amount. I just kept apologizing to the midwife if I couldn’t pick something up, or I got blood on the floor or bed. The midwife we had Christmas day was incredible. She was kind, caring and so understanding. I just wish I could remember her name!

First visitors.

Later that evening, Liam’s parents and Nan (Norma) came to visit. I was moved from delivery up to a ward where I shared a room with 1 other woman. Liam’s dad and Nan got to meet her and hold her. Everyone was so smitten with her. Liam’s dad was just adorable. So in love with her, it was so lovely to watch them all coo over her. Liam then went home with them to get changed and have a nap as we had been up for over 24 hours. He returned with a Christmas dinner for me. Yum! We had lots of baby snuggles and then he left again for the night.

First night alone.

My first night alone was…emotional. Molly wouldn’t feed, she wouldn’t settle. Every time I put her down she would scream! I was up all night with her..which I normally wouldn’t mind, but I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours already because..well, I was in labour! 3am rolled around and I stood by the window, with Molly crying in my arms, and I was crying right along with her. The sheer exhaustion was at an all time high and I already felt like I was failing. Less than 24 hours in and I already felt like a shit mother! Over the course of the night, several midwives had come in one by one and tried to settle Molly. Giving suggestions and tips on feeding, swaddling her, cuddling her and rocking her. But all had failed.

4.30am and a young, very kind midwife came in and said they were taking her for a few hours so I could rest. Bless the midwife, I had no choice. I got told I needed a few hours to rest for my own health and they were happy to help, and it was what they were there for. I kind of slept until 6am when, as soon as they put Molly in her fish tank ( clear plastic cot) she started to cry. Picking her up, I moved the chair right up against the bed, placed a large pillow along my side and cradled her. She couldn’t fall off if I fell asleep. No blanket would cover her face and that I couldn’t roll onto her. We had our first ‘night’ of co-sleeping.

She slept until 8am. Thankfully Liam came in super early and had her so I could nap, well, try and nap. I didn’t get much sleep. We had to establish breastfeeding before I was allowed home, I was still so determined to breastfeed. I had several midwives help me and we finally got it enough that later that afternoon, we left the hospital as a family of 3!

We spent the rest of boxing day at ours with Liam’s parents, who brought all our Christmas presents over and we had a late Christmas.

I will be forever grateful for the midwives who helped bring our little girl into the world safely, and trust me to have a baby on Christmas freaking day!